Fuuuucckk

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuuuuucckkk fuckkkkk.

I'm fuuuucckkkeedd (I know, funny haha because it's not physically possible...blah).

This is serious though.

Ok, so you know how in my last post I said I was going to avoid The Kid and his schemes? Well, that didn't last very long, meaning I saw him the next day and he said he had a good idea and he said ok? I don't know why I'm such a pushover, really. Anyway, the idea was to make me look like a guy (which isn't some master feat, by the way) and for me to 'hook up' with a girl who is under the impression that I am, in fact, a penis slinger. We went to the enviro house, aka hippieville, with a few close friends, dubbed 'supervisors' who turned out to be drunk instigators instead.

I'm sure I don't need to explain what kind of parties take place in hippieville, but just as a general idea, it involved gin and tonics being drunk out of turkey basters, minimal visibility, naked people, a lot of dancing, and lot of sweating, and a lot of tongue-tied students. (With each other, not tongue tied in the traditional sense. Far from it, actually.)

Needless to say, it wasn't long before I found myself in a similar situation, tongue-tied with a girl who (I think) is a junior who's name will be, for the purposes of this blog "The Girl." Original, I know. She came up to me while we were all dancing and drinking out of turkey basters and told me I looked like Justin Bieber, which I thought was an unusual thing to say for a liberal college student wearing a sarong and barely anything else, but I digress. Then she just dove right in, and to be honest, it was a lot nicer than the slobber-fest I had with "The Boy" (uuugghhhh, yuck), although still a little...slippery? Must have been the tonic. Or the gin.

Anywho, we spent a good chunk of the night together, making out and dancing and talking, and the whole time she thought I was a guy. She giggled while we were dancing at one point and said she was impressed that I didn't have a boner. I told her it was the gin. What the fuck? Like an idiot, I took the lies to a whole new level, so now the 'guy' who's number she has is also a black belt, has a pet falcon, and spends half of his time deep sea fishing off the Galapagos....

fuuuuuuuckckkkkckck

-Jamie